Comparison sucks. Somehow it seeps in like a parasite, benefiting while the host is left to bear the feelings of inadequacy. If I’m being honest comparison has been the reason I haven’t posted in a while. I wanted what I was posting to be “original”, and not like I was copying someone else. Chances are no one would’ve of thought that, and, I didn’t share what God placed on my heart due to my own insecurities.
It’s kind of annoying when I get in a trance of comparison. It’s like I look at other people, and measure myself up to them. Whether it be looks, their relationships, intelligence, style, how far ahead of me they seem to be, or how confident they seem to be. I look at them and then look at me.
So, I’ve decided, after watching how my self esteem has been shattered over the years, due to comparison (amongst other things), to rise above it. Why? Because I hate the effects it has on me and my inability to build healthy relationships with people and myself.
Loving myself as I am has been challenging. Instead of blooming into this beautiful, carefree, loving, joyful being; I’ve become reserved and limited by my own doing. Fear has literally crippled me from pursuing the authenticity within me.
So…my journey starts here:
1| I’m intentionally ignoring the “what about me” complex.
I’ve noticed that if someone doesn’t treat me the way they treat someone else, I get in my head. Especially when it comes to my family or people I’m close to. I’ve learned to stay in my lane and not compare my relationship with someone to their relationship with others.
2| Bye to fear, labels, and who everyone else thinks I should be.
This one is hard, fear has hidden in my life in so many areas. One of those areas being, worrying about what others think of me. This has stemmed from what I felt to be constant criticism and critiquing that I received as a child.
So I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, gradually not caring about what my parents and family think about me. One can’t live their life trying to please others. It’s unfulfilling.
3| Accepting my quirks.
I can be chill, awkward, loud, dry, fun, whatever I feel like being in that moment. Just because someone side eyes me for being goofy. Or is perplexed by how quiet and calm I may be does not mean I have to personally fit myself into their box so that they can understand me. If it’s to hard for them to get me, oh well.
4| Embracing the journey.
Literally getting into the passenger seat and enjoying the ride. Just because this person is there and I’m here doesn’t mean I’m unsuccessful. His/her journey is there’s and mine is mine. Perfectly crafted by God Himself.
- Don’t get me wrong have ambition and a vision, but remember complacency is different from contentment. Work for what you want and obey God.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 (AMP)
“Then the Lord answered me and said, “Write the vision And engrave it plainly on [clay] tablets So that the one who reads it will run. “For the vision is yet for the appointed [future] time It hurries toward the goal [of fulfillment]; it will not fail. Even though it delays, wait [patiently] for it, Because it will certainly come; it will not delay.”
5| Being intentional about focusing on me.
I feel like this speaks for it’s self. Be intentional on focusing on yourself, almost blinded to everyone else’s life that you become content in yours. Serenity is found when you can accept where you are and who you are.
One thing we undermine is that comparison has multiple side effects. Comment below and share how you rise above comparison.